the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
