so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
is this the sara with the beer cane?
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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