i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
