I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
