it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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