So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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