I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
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