my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
