Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize