somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
