Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
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