my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
