FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
