pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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