You're my little dorito
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
