he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
