Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
