I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
