You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize