Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
it's not cheating when I paid for it
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
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