I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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