Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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