I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
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