real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
