everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
