absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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