Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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