I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
