he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
