you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
