I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
