Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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