Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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