Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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