This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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