I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Randomize
