yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
