i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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