I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
