I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Randomize
