Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
So squirting runs in the family.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
