i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
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