you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
