Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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