My liver just broke up with me...
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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