your room smells of hookers.
And success
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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