If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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