i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
