He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Randomize
