If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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