i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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