sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
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