i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
