i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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