Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
