Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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