She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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