season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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