So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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