I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
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naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
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I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it